the viva went not very good im afraid... but thats all right i am improving. that is what really matters. as they say 'losing the battles, but winning the war'.
its a battle for regaining my confidence and conviction --- both in my speech and action. it might sound strange why an aligarhian is so bitter. well, its not without a reason. the place snatched away so much away from me. it will take a significant time for me to recover.

i never understood why at AMU only the female students are expected to behave as 'proper muslims'. does islam not prescribe certain regulations for men too? why is it that a pair of jeans worn by a female draws so much of attention and contempt while for the males it is acceptable to wear them? why is it that the character of a female who speaks and walks confidently is attacked while the male who behaves similarly is hailed as an intellectual? i am bewildered by the double standards of these people. you want the female to be dressed up in an all covering black cloak and yet you want her to talk to you over the phone.

a year or two back, a female student had her shawl snatched away by some boys on a bike inside the university premises ;the reason and the justification --- she was wearing jeans. the issue rocked the university and was talked about in all the national newspapers. the girl was denounced by everyone; even the students union, which instead of aiding her in taking action against the culprits, openly dismissed the incident as a 'cheap publicity stunt'. even more shocking was the statement on TV by one university lecturer who was of the opinion that 'decent girls' do not wear jeans.
who are these people in the first place to judge our character and to speak for us? that too on the basis on what a girl wears. and these are the very teachers who enjoy chatting for hours with girls students in their chambers.

hypocrisy or what!

continued...

i have a viva coming up in the afternoon yet here i am writing another piece on aligarh. it would make you wonder if its an obsession with me!well! yes, it is in a way. till now --- im 23--- i've spent almost one third of my life there. my stay there has left an indelible mark on my mind, filled me with loathing for certain people and events (though i do happen to have some very cherished memories which i will carry with me all my life) and set me thinking (and blogging too).one thing for certain, most people @ AMU dont feel that being polite is nice. they believe they own the place lock,stock and barrell. the local population, especially, lives in its small world disconnected from the rest and have a kind of superiority complex about nothing at all.
i remember numerous incidents when i felt i was subhuman. it seems unreal but these people have expertise in making u feel so.
one particular thing which irritated me to no end was the interns at the medical college. not even graduates but they used to behave as if they had all the experience in the world and us mere mortals were at their mercy.
pathetic! to treat your fellow university students that way. i took a strong dislike to them because i often had to visit the hospital emergency ward with one or another of my friends. i was the one who would never refuse to accompany anyone to the hospital.mind you, im not glorifying myself but i know exactly how it feels to fall ill at the hostel and no one around to take care of u.
there r countless other incidents which i cannot forget --- the teachers watching your each and every move, the cheap comments which the wearing of jeans would invariably draw, the gossipmongering boys at the dhabas ... these thoughts make me feel sick.

more to come later... got to prepare for my viva rt now!

blank!

precisely what one of the 'prestigious' faculties at the fabled aligarh muslim university made me ... blank, timid, meek! the supercilious attitude of the teaching staff, save a few, the arrogance of the local illbred male colleagues who thought the college and university premises to be their fiefdom, the utterly miserable office staff which considered students doomed to be their slaves for that period of the course.

oh! the frustration! while im writing this piece and now that i finally am a graduate( award of degree pending the next convo!) i can still feel the anger and the bitteress welling up inside me.

the suffocation i suffered for four years. i wouldnt count the two years i spent in the prison called abdullah hall, for they were still better. nor the first year of college when i was cocooned in my own world, hell-bent on going away from aligarh once and for all. however, that was not to be, and i spent the next four of my foundational and precious academic years in a place which stripped me of my dignity, my fearlessness, my self belief and my indomitable spirit.

i do not speak for everyone. only for myself and a few of my friends. nor need anyone agree with me. it doesnt concern me any longer.

if i dont speak, i will implode!

i dont intend to belittle Aligarh Muslim University.i just want to write what is wrong with the institution. after all Aligarh is not just about beautiful moorish buildings, it is about young,fiery and ambitious students like me,who when they finally leave university realise what they have lost of themselves in the process of gaining a degree...

probably, the way most people in aligarh have been conditioned to believe and behave, they wouldnt hesistate to get a fatwah issued against me for 'blaspheming' against their 'citadel of learning'.